Affair Pillows

Run Off With The Bearded Lady.

"I've never asked Ralph, but I think there's another woman."

Hipster Replacement

"You told me he was out of town! You wanted us to get caught, you sick bitch!"

"Poor soul - he's been like that ever since he ran off with my wife..."

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

Mission Kinda Accomplished

Chekov play and scorecard,

Diplomacy Between Cuba and US

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

"It's not what you think."

Minister of Foreign Affairs.

'We can't keep meeting in the wind tunnel, Natasha '.

Lady of the house pregnant - "The butler did it."

"It's not you, Rob. It's just that things are moving a little too fast."

The wife couldn't bring herself to cut up all my clothes - so she ironed creases in all my jeans.'

'I love my wife, and I hate my mistress.'

"Oh dear, I'm terrible with names."

'Don't be silly darling...I married you for your money, it makes no difference, pounds or euros.'

Servant girl making an excuse to go out and see a soldier

"Shall I let your wife know you're home, or do you both like surprises?"

'You'll never believe it. I got replaced by a woman at work today.'

"What a year this month has been!"

'Believe me - I'm talking to Mr Hu Jintao in plain language!'

"It's the best possible deal."

"The wife is out 3 evenings a week with her driving instructor. I wouldn't mind but she passed her test in 1983!"

Get ready for Brexit planning

"My hobbies are Celia, Irene, Trisha and Jane."

Rural Pleasures - Wife off with another man whilst husband sleeps

"Good God. My wife and my best friend."

'What's wrong, haven't you heard of Global Warming?'

'So who's it to be, Eileen - him or me?'

'Yes to an affair as long as it's eco-friendly.'

'Has the old bastard gone to sleep yet?'

"Surprise!"