Affair Gifts

Run Off With The Bearded Lady.

"I've never asked Ralph, but I think there's another woman."

Hipster Replacement

"You told me he was out of town! You wanted us to get caught, you sick bitch!"

"Poor soul - he's been like that ever since he ran off with my wife..."

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

Mission Kinda Accomplished

Chekov play and scorecard,

Diplomacy Between Cuba and US

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

"It's not what you think."

Minister of Foreign Affairs.

'We can't keep meeting in the wind tunnel, Natasha '.

Lady of the house pregnant - "The butler did it."

"It's not you, Rob. It's just that things are moving a little too fast."

"Oh dear, I'm terrible with names."

The wife couldn't bring herself to cut up all my clothes - so she ironed creases in all my jeans.'

'I love my wife, and I hate my mistress.'

'Don't be silly darling...I married you for your money, it makes no difference, pounds or euros.'

'You'll never believe it. I got replaced by a woman at work today.'

"Shall I let your wife know you're home, or do you both like surprises?"

Servant girl making an excuse to go out and see a soldier

"What a year this month has been!"

Rural Pleasures - Wife off with another man whilst husband sleeps

"It's the best possible deal."

"Good God. My wife and my best friend."

'Believe me - I'm talking to Mr Hu Jintao in plain language!'

"My hobbies are Celia, Irene, Trisha and Jane."

Get ready for Brexit planning

"The wife is out 3 evenings a week with her driving instructor. I wouldn't mind but she passed her test in 1983!"

'What's wrong, haven't you heard of Global Warming?'

'Has the old bastard gone to sleep yet?'

'Yes to an affair as long as it's eco-friendly.'

"Surprise!"

'We can't go on meeting like this. I'm missing all my soaps.'