Germ Dodgers Gifts

Survivors of Near-Flu Experiences

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

Fear of news.

"....and hold the garlic."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Scratching the infected area will only make it worse, Mr Bonaparte!"

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

'Let's just say, if you were meat, you'd be way past your 'best before' date!'

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

'Let's all practice bug control.'

Return Of The Flu.

Motivation

How caffeine interacts with human brain cells.

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

"[Treehouse conference call]"

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

"Watch out for the low beams!"

What's the matter, Emily? Jeremy the jerk dumped me. I can't take it. My whole insides hurt. You'll be better off without him. Thanks, Twig. Youre lucky you didn't fall in love. Sigh. I wish I had a broken heart!

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

'I don't need to go to a gym. One of my classroom management strategies is to circulate frequently around the room. I figure I walk three miles a day.'

"This is my exercise routine, and this is my routine to avoid that exercise routine."

Slimming Club: New Members Entry.

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

Walk right in. Sit right down.

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'