Problem Dodger Gifts

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'This is just so like you. Always taking the easy way out.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

Examinations.

Scapegoat of the Year

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'Whatever you do, don't tell them you think you're ready to take on more responsibility!'

'It's been a pretty slow day -- What say we knock off a couple hours early?'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"With great power comes zero responsibility."

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

The Feng Shui of the road must be off.

Trading Places.

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

"Let's go back to the scenario in which none of this is my fault."

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

"Yeah, almost didn't make it out of that one."

"Judging by all the parts that fell off our car, I must've have hit more potholes than I thought."

'There's going to be a lot of blame thrown around. Remember to bob and weave.'

Desk plaque: 'Seize the nap.'

"This case poses a very difficult choice... I know, coin toss!"

"Well, I don't like doing paperwork at the business. I'd rather be watching a ball game. But we all have to do things that we don't want to do! That's part of life."

Personnel. The gap in my resume is when I got turned out on my back for six months.

'Forget the test Mrs. Winslow. Let's send out for pizza!'

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

Not my fault! Not my department! Not my problem! Not my job!