Blame Dodger Gifts

'There's going to be a lot of blame thrown around. Remember to bob and weave.'

'Remember, it's not whether you win or lose - it's how you escape the blame.'

"You'll be informed on a need-to-know-to-take-the-blame basis."

"It's so unfair, I'm blamed all the time even though it's never my fault..."

"And this is one of our unpaid interns who'll be taking responsibility for anything that goes wrong."

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

Scapegoat of the Year

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Whatever you do, don't tell them you think you're ready to take on more responsibility!'

'It's been a pretty slow day -- What say we knock off a couple hours early?'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"With great power comes zero responsibility."

"I'm not worried because somehow all this is your fault."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

"Let's go back to the scenario in which none of this is my fault."

"Look, I'm not blaming you. I'm just suing you."

"Being a twin is great. I always have a scapegoat."

'He escaped!'

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

"Well, I don't like doing paperwork at the business. I'd rather be watching a ball game. But we all have to do things that we don't want to do! That's part of life."

Not my fault! Not my department! Not my problem! Not my job!

'I am willing to fail... as long as it's not my fault.'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

'If you are wondering why I always have a smile, in the face of adversity, it's because I have you as a scapegoat.'

'How are you at looking guilty? - We need to hire a scapegoat.'