
"Let's go back to the scenario in which none of this is my fault."
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"Let's go back to the scenario in which none of this is my fault."
Not my fault! Not my department! Not my problem! Not my job!
'I am willing to fail... as long as it's not my fault.'
Why you must get up.
'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'
'Whatever you do, don't tell them you think you're ready to take on more responsibility!'
"Of course I need your input! How else could I accurately assign blame?"
"I can't get used to being a grownup."
"I'm trying to put my priorities behind me."
"With great power comes zero responsibility."
'It's been a pretty slow day -- What say we knock off a couple hours early?'
The buck pauses here.
'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'
"Well, I don't like doing paperwork at the business. I'd rather be watching a ball game. But we all have to do things that we don't want to do! That's part of life."
"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."
"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."
Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'
"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."
Scapegoat of the Year
Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...
The Female Brain and The Other One
How lazy people decide what to eat
Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.
"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"
'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'
Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.
"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."
'Right now my plate's full juggling school and parents.'
"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."
"Truth, whole truth, nothing but the truth? I'm not ready for that much of a commitment."
"Make up your mind - will you or won't you?"
Procrastinator's Leap.
"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."
Bring your dog to work day - let someone else make the big decisions.
"Heads we go with the analytics. Tails we don't."
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