Dispute Dodger Gifts

'It feels oddly familiar.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Scapegoat of the Year

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

How lazy people decide what to eat

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

Financial Advisor. The next time you let your inner child out to play, don't let him play with your credit cards.

Hear me, Graduates!

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'So, who's first?'

It's an I-O-Ewe.

'It will take all my nine lives to pay off my student loans.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Updated Proverbs. We come into the world with nothing. And leave deeply in debt!

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

Kicking The Habit

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

'I think we should consider hiring a consultant to share the blame.'

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

Thank You For Not Giving Me Your Views About Brexit