Geriatric Care Manager Gifts

"Apparently the problem of dealing with 'adult care' can be easily solved..."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"I don't know who you are!"

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Careful."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

Sick Building Syndrome

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

Caution signs.

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Job Safety - Hardhat.

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."