Geriatric Care Specialist Gifts

"He may be 90 but he's got the body of an 85 year old."

"Anyone else for a prostate test?"

'It's the NHS 24 nurse, returning your call.' 'Tell her I've made a full recovery.'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Stairlift around cliff face.

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"I don't know who you are!"

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

'What's holding him up?'

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Careful."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"