Geriatric Counselor Gifts

Old Age Depression

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"I didn't spark joy."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"I don't know who you are!"

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

Handle With Care

'In general, do the right thing.'

'I'm sick and tired of your mood swings, Frank!'

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

'I'm not saying your mother is senile but she just vacuum bagged the cat!'

'What's holding him up?'

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

Aging Support Group

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

"Careful."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

Yes, I agree that man is a master of his own destiny but sometimes it helps if you pass algebra.

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'