Care Home Manager Gifts

'We put the little old lady of Threadneedle Street into a care home.'

Let's get organized

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

A Day In The Kitchen

"By labeling it, I control it."

"I had to skip my workout."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

Hassled Mother.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

Separation Anxiety

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

Social Worker

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"He may be 90 but he's got the body of an 85 year old."

"Did you remember to do everything I asked, even the small things I said in passing that didn't sound like real requests?"

"It works as long as the teacher doesn't call on you."

A woman's work is never done!

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

The Complete Cycle.

"When we have COVID under control you'll be rewarded for saving us, we won't forget how much we owe you."

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

'You're three o'clock cancelled, the Parson deal is ending, and your husband wants to know if the dishes are dirty or clean.'

'We share the load - she cooks it, I eat it.'