Care Home Manager Pillows

'We put the little old lady of Threadneedle Street into a care home.'

Let's get organized

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

A Day In The Kitchen

"By labeling it, I control it."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"I had to skip my workout."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Handle With Care

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

Hassled Mother.

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Separation Anxiety

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

Social Worker

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"He may be 90 but he's got the body of an 85 year old."

"Did you remember to do everything I asked, even the small things I said in passing that didn't sound like real requests?"

"It works as long as the teacher doesn't call on you."

A woman's work is never done!

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

"When we have COVID under control you'll be rewarded for saving us, we won't forget how much we owe you."

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

"Okay, you two! Clean up the house and do the laundry while I take the kids to school!"

The Complete Cycle.