Care Home Worker Gifts

"Poor old dear can't talk much anymore I wonder what he's thinking...?" "Nice tits."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

Cry babies.

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

vaccine wars.

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Interior design trends for parents....

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"Our war is against cancer."

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

'Well, well, well...'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"The first one's just a warning."