Nursing Home Worker Gifts

"When I finish here I have to go to my second job in the nursing home and this evening I've got my waitressing shift."

"Now when I was a lad..."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

vaccine wars.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

"Our war is against cancer."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

'Well, well, well...'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Social distancing

"The first one's just a warning."

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

PSA Banter.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'