Nursing Home Worker Gifts

"When I finish here I have to go to my second job in the nursing home and this evening I've got my waitressing shift."

"Now when I was a lad..."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

vaccine wars.

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

"Our war is against cancer."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'Well, well, well...'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"The first one's just a warning."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

Social distancing

PSA Banter.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

Deaths from Coronavirus