Medicare Manager Gifts

Donald Came Out Of The Recovery Room This Morning But Had To Go Back After Seeing The Bill.

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

NHS targets.

NHS recruitment.

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

Hell's Angels

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

Minister rubbishes private sector hospital initiative.

Consortia set to take over

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'

If Supermarkets were run like the NHS: I'd like a million pounds worth of shampoo, which I may not bother to collect if Eastenders is on.

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

Side Effects

Stress on GPs

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

'Of course cutting back on this level of bureaucracy will require a lot of work...'

Health Care is in Trouble

"He's our newest partner, we can't afford to be as selective as we used to be."

NHS Trust Hospital: Management Team/Medical Staff

'The NHS believes in a carrot and stick approach to motivation...'

DOH should create a simple prevalence formula that works.