Medical Equipment Manager Gifts

"How can he claim to be the face of his company, when they make endoscopes?"

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Medical Equipment profit chart.

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

"Here comes the super-visor."

NHS targets.

NHS recruitment.

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

Minister rubbishes private sector hospital initiative.

Hell's Angels

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

If Supermarkets were run like the NHS: I'd like a million pounds worth of shampoo, which I may not bother to collect if Eastenders is on.

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'

Side Effects

Stress on GPs

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

'Of course cutting back on this level of bureaucracy will require a lot of work...'

Health Care is in Trouble

"He's our newest partner, we can't afford to be as selective as we used to be."

'I'm hiring a football equipment manager to add some padding to my résumé.'

NHS Trust Hospital: Management Team/Medical Staff

DOH should create a simple prevalence formula that works.

'We're to spend more time engaging with patients on a more compassionate 'human' level...and here are the guidelines on how to do it!'

"Oh, I forgot that you missed the meeting. Our data security team added some new protection when accessing patient data files."