Medical Equipment Manager Pillows

"How can he claim to be the face of his company, when they make endoscopes?"

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Medical Equipment profit chart.

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"Here comes the super-visor."

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

NHS targets.

NHS recruitment.

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

Minister rubbishes private sector hospital initiative.

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

Hell's Angels

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

If Supermarkets were run like the NHS: I'd like a million pounds worth of shampoo, which I may not bother to collect if Eastenders is on.

Side Effects

Stress on GPs

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

'Of course cutting back on this level of bureaucracy will require a lot of work...'

NHS Trust Hospital: Management Team/Medical Staff

DOH should create a simple prevalence formula that works.

'I'm hiring a football equipment manager to add some padding to my résumé.'

"He's our newest partner, we can't afford to be as selective as we used to be."

Health Care is in Trouble

'We're to spend more time engaging with patients on a more compassionate 'human' level...and here are the guidelines on how to do it!'

"Oh, I forgot that you missed the meeting. Our data security team added some new protection when accessing patient data files."

'When we talk about a 'needs' led service. The 'NEED' is to stay in budget!'