Medical Supply Manager Pillows

'Well here's the problem. #AB5 is a Nuclear Missile. # AB6 is a box of surgical gloves.'

"Stock of our medical supplies have flatlined, much like the patients who used them."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"We're odd looking but just as good."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Medical Equipment profit chart.

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

Price may vary with weather.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Attack of the 'health' foods

"Here comes the super-visor."

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

Low Hanging Fruit

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

"Sir, surely it's irresponsible to be throwing away so much edible food?"

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

Side Effects

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

'If you want produce grown on the farm down the road you'll have to go to Kuala Lumpur.'

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

"That happens sometimes, when people borrow my pen and leave the cap off"