Medical Supply Manager T-Shirts

'Well here's the problem. #AB5 is a Nuclear Missile. # AB6 is a box of surgical gloves.'

"Stock of our medical supplies have flatlined, much like the patients who used them."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Medical Equipment profit chart.

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

Price may vary with weather.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

Low Hanging Fruit

"Here comes the super-visor."

Attack of the 'health' foods

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

"Sir, surely it's irresponsible to be throwing away so much edible food?"

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

Side Effects

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

'If you want produce grown on the farm down the road you'll have to go to Kuala Lumpur.'

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"