Medical Records Manager Gifts

"Oh, I forgot that you missed the meeting. Our data security team added some new protection when accessing patient data files."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

Obama Healthcare.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

'Somebody should tell our office manager that a motorized filing cabinet does not qualify as an electronic health record system.'

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

NHS targets.

NHS recruitment.

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

Hell's Angels

Minister rubbishes private sector hospital initiative.

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

Dive in Archive.

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

If Supermarkets were run like the NHS: I'd like a million pounds worth of shampoo, which I may not bother to collect if Eastenders is on.

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'

Consortia set to take over

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

Side Effects

Stress on GPs

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."