Medication Managers Gifts

Take Your Pills!

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

King Solomon's Pollster.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

Side Effects

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

"That's the pill I gave the cat this afternoon!"

"It's definitely Friday. I'm looking at my calendar."

DOH should create a simple prevalence formula that works.

'We're to spend more time engaging with patients on a more compassionate 'human' level...and here are the guidelines on how to do it!'

"Oh, I forgot that you missed the meeting. Our data security team added some new protection when accessing patient data files."

'And out hospital has rooms...lots of rooms, and some beds, and we've got stairs.'

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

'Nasty growth, eh? I recommend you go into hospitals at once!'

"I have prescribed something to make you sleep better! Be careful not to take too many! If you do this side effect is headaches!"

"Don't panic. I'm looking up the side effects."

"And when you finish curing all your patients we would like you to sort out climate change. . ."

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

'This is nurse Rochester, if there's anything worrying you she's the person to share your concerns with so that they get recorded and filed properly.'