Medical Cost Manager Gifts

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'I'd like to explain my ideas for economy within the company.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

Looking for the cause of high health care costs. . .

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

"We re cutting back on overhead."

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

"It's the hospital board performing surgery on the budget."

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

DOH should create a simple prevalence formula that works.

'We're to spend more time engaging with patients on a more compassionate 'human' level...and here are the guidelines on how to do it!'

'And out hospital has rooms...lots of rooms, and some beds, and we've got stairs.'

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

"And when you finish curing all your patients we would like you to sort out climate change. . ."

'Nasty growth, eh? I recommend you go into hospitals at once!'

'This is nurse Rochester, if there's anything worrying you she's the person to share your concerns with so that they get recorded and filed properly.'

Hospital Finances.

'Do you remember when all we had to do was look after people?'

I'm not overweight , I just have a heavy management infrastructure.

"The NHS is BROKEN, a tragically poor reflection of a once great service, underfunded, battered by decades of austerity and government indifference. Now can we move on to staff morale."

'So far my grandfather's funeral has cost me £6000!... We buried him in a rented suit!'

'He made a mistake, lynch him!'

Man Struggling with Taxes/Clothing/Medical/Misc/Food/Shelter/Education.

Matt Hancock