Cost Management Gifts

"We considered a number of alternatives but this was the cheapest."

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

"We've had budget cutbacks since your last session of flight simulation."

'I think we should budgets we draw up.'

'We'll save a fortune on air-conditioning.'

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"

Businessman's Lunch - Gratuities are zero rated and tax deductible

"The corporate culture around here is basically my mom complaining about the price of lemons."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

Cost of Family Living

"We re cutting back on overhead."

"...Instead of raw, how would you like your egg tepid?"

'I'd like to explain my ideas for economy within the company.'

'We'll have to cut back on the caviar, Oscar!'

'Oh, yes, I agree. It is TRAGIC how costly braces have become! We do everything we can to hold prices down.'

Ironic chart of wastage

Man Struggling with Taxes/Clothing/Medical/Misc/Food/Shelter/Education.

'So far my grandfather's funeral has cost me £6000!... We buried him in a rented suit!'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Will work for ETFs

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

A Day In The Kitchen

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

Why do you need so many computers?

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

The Affordable Shredder

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

"What comes after zillion?"

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician