Medical Cost Monitor Gifts

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Everything's gone up."

"Doc, my arm is killing me, but I don't know how I can afford care. My deductible is through the roof and I just got laid off my job."

Looking for the cause of high health care costs. . .

Hospital: Senior Care/Long Term Care/Who Cares

'Is there something you're not telling me, Doctor?'

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

"Your disgust over ballooning healthcare costs is just a natural part of the aging process."

"Why couldn't you open that wide during the procedure?"

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

"I'm going to take your blood pressure, so try to relax and not think about what a high reading might mean for your chances of living a long, healthy life."

You take'm through the nose, you pay through the nose.

Cut rate clinic: 'Attention! All medical personnel must wash their hands 2/ soP & WATER AFTER EVERY 10TH patient'

'Who are you calling Napoleon?I'm just going to pay you!'

"Ms. Mims will help you arrance financing."

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

"I don't want treatment, just an insurance estimate."

'...possible drug side effects include 'rapid death syndrome', but that's rare.'

"It says here you've got a high threshold of pain. I'm going to present you with your bill now."

"I hope you don't mind the medical student who's here to observe my billing procedure."

'You're limping -- you should visit your HMO.', 'I did -- they PRESCRIBED limping!'

"The price is up again? I hadn't noticed."

"Don't take time to smell the flowers anymore. The tests show you're allergic to them."

Hospital services: Uninsured Care.

'A health report today warned skeptics, who take everything with a grain of salt, could result in abnormal hypertension. . .'

'I did everything I could, but I'm still only going to make about $40,000 on this operation.'

"Side effects may include litigation."

'Your prescription was denied but you do qualify for a senior discount on all our Get Well cards.'

"Our gas bill's been levelled up."

"There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got."

Martin Health M.D. - practice limited to six figure diseases.

"The machine is making a funny noise and the green line went flat!"

"You feel like a million bucks? Great! I'll tell our billing department"

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