Medical Cost Monitor T-Shirts

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Everything's gone up."

"Doc, my arm is killing me, but I don't know how I can afford care. My deductible is through the roof and I just got laid off my job."

Looking for the cause of high health care costs. . .

Hospital: Senior Care/Long Term Care/Who Cares

'Is there something you're not telling me, Doctor?'

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

"Why couldn't you open that wide during the procedure?"

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

"I'm going to take your blood pressure, so try to relax and not think about what a high reading might mean for your chances of living a long, healthy life."

You take'm through the nose, you pay through the nose.

Cut rate clinic: 'Attention! All medical personnel must wash their hands 2/ soP & WATER AFTER EVERY 10TH patient'

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

"Ms. Mims will help you arrance financing."

'Who are you calling Napoleon?I'm just going to pay you!'

"I don't want treatment, just an insurance estimate."

'...possible drug side effects include 'rapid death syndrome', but that's rare.'

"The price is up again? I hadn't noticed."

'You're limping -- you should visit your HMO.', 'I did -- they PRESCRIBED limping!'

"I hope you don't mind the medical student who's here to observe my billing procedure."

"It says here you've got a high threshold of pain. I'm going to present you with your bill now."

"Don't take time to smell the flowers anymore. The tests show you're allergic to them."

Hospital services: Uninsured Care.

'A health report today warned skeptics, who take everything with a grain of salt, could result in abnormal hypertension. . .'

Martin Health M.D. - practice limited to six figure diseases.

'I did everything I could, but I'm still only going to make about $40,000 on this operation.'

"Our gas bill's been levelled up."

'Your prescription was denied but you do qualify for a senior discount on all our Get Well cards.'

"Side effects may include litigation."

"There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got."

"The machine is making a funny noise and the green line went flat!"

"You feel like a million bucks? Great! I'll tell our billing department"

"Give it to me straight. I want the truth. How much will all this set me back?"

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