Geriatric Care Supporter Gifts

"And this is where he'll be during the day - we call it The Men's Downhill."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

Handle With Care

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"I noticed a few browns."

"Sure I'm depressed - now they got me on this geriatric dog food."

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

What makes us Canadian? It's in our DNeh!

Introducing Life Alarm for people who have fallen but don't want to get up.

"He may be 90 but he's got the body of an 85 year old."

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

"Thank you."

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

Aging Sign # 23: you're dehydrated and yet up peeing all night.

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"It's Meals-on-Wheels, Mrs. Hokenstadt."

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

'There's no cure, but the good news is we have some great support groups!'

Many women report sleep disturbances associated with the post-menopausal period.

'The medication wont cure you, but it's side effects will!'

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

"Here's your support, Dad, and here's mine."

"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

BLESS THE NHS and DAMN THE DIY

"Since I'm your surgeon, I'll be right there if anything should go wrong."

"We must do something about this memory loss, Richard."

"It's all part of life. In time, each of us will be moved to the guest room."

"Yes, I have had problems with bedwetting before...but the previous time I was five!"

The knee surgeon did a poor job.

Overweight dumb-bells at a Weight Loss Centre having their weights removed

"The secret to longevity is good genes, good diet, a good lawyer and witnesses with weak eyesight and poor memories."