Gazelle Guru Gifts

'Those betel nuts went straight to my flanks.'

'But what is the universe for?'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'My electric car is giving me static!'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

'Oh Hi!'

'I could do that.'

The Rise of Modern Art

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

Inflating Boobs.

Organic Soldering.

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Creative accounting.

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

Bob’s Museum

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Den Furniture

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'