Gazing Guru Gifts

Vending machines read: Snacks/Coffee/Stare out the window.

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'She's so put together!'

A women in a shoeshop.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

If nobody had invented graphics

"Why bother?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Absolutely not!"

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

Keeping warm.

'Oh Hi!'

'I could do that.'

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

Mr Metrosexual.

'Do you like my little black number?'

At the suit makers

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

The Rise of Modern Art

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

His and Her wardrobe's