Glass Guru Gifts

'Don't worry, Fred, there's nothing there, but it always stops the traffic for us to cross the road.'

'You mean you can't even read the top line.'

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

J.Froggett Glaziers - "Now go get some business"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

'I could do that.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

ACME Balloon Company.

Let's Celebrate

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

The Rise of Modern Art

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Now this is my kind of green!'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."