Glaze Guru Gifts

I love Pottery.

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Deregulated Baseball

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

Super glue . . .

Hippie Edibles Co.

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

A shop is called 'Garnishes: Top Meals in Tough Times'.

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

I didn't dress this way to go unnoticed

You can never over garnish!