Groveling Guru Gifts

"He's resorted to a legal tactic I hadn't counted on! He's groveling!"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

Turkey to human dictionary - 'Quiet!!! You don't realize what you're saying!'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

Sculptor's chippings

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.

"I make money, therefore I am."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

The Music Lover.

'...Stop trying to funk it up.'

Hippie Edibles Co.

'Just be patient. Greed always makes a come back.'

Deregulated Baseball

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

Cleaning the Horse

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

Hose and Flower in Perfect Harmony.

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

Many people suspect that the players aren't the only ones on steroids.

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

Boxing

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)

"The Great Source keeps afloat, along with a little help from the sharks there."

'I wish John would stop using that gourmet pet food that makes gravy when you add water.'

Investments: Getting In Touch With Your Inner Greed

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

'Yup, might be time for a new gardener.'

'I know I can count on you... that's the problem.'

Judge knocking at 'audits' so that 'CPA's' lose their money

How's My Jiving?

"I-800-DOGYLAW"