Galloping Guru Gifts

Cleaning the Horse

'Funny how, before the race, you know exactly who will win, and after the race exactly why they didn't.'

Apples for sale

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

Intelligent people laugh too!

'But what is the universe for?'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"Bonk!"

Newton's Cradle Solar System

Turkey to human dictionary - 'Quiet!!! You don't realize what you're saying!'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

His and Hers Gravity Bars.

The earlier, less publicized discovery of gravity by Corblatt.

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Mine's camper."

"Galileo, I've had about enough of all your gravity experiments!"

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

"Galileo soon modified his gravity experiments" "Ready to catch it?"

'So much for Newton. Now, as for Einstein...'

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

Newton discovers anti-gravity,

Man read's Newton's 'Philosophiae Naturalis Principa Mathematica' and says: 'Blimey Isaac, this is, er, pretty heavy stuff.'

If Sir Issac Newton and William Tell were brothers, gravity would never have been discovered.

Descendant of Galileo disproving the theory that computers double in speed every twelve months.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

Galileo's Attempt to discover is heavier dog falls faster than lighter dog.

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

'How did my Chinese ancestors keep from falling off the earth before Mr Newton invented gravity?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'