Galloping Guru Gifts

Cleaning the Horse

'Funny how, before the race, you know exactly who will win, and after the race exactly why they didn't.'

Apples for sale

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

Intelligent people laugh too!

'But what is the universe for?'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Newton's Cradle Solar System

"Bonk!"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

His and Hers Gravity Bars.

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

Newton discovers anti-gravity,

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

"Galileo soon modified his gravity experiments" "Ready to catch it?"

Man read's Newton's 'Philosophiae Naturalis Principa Mathematica' and says: 'Blimey Isaac, this is, er, pretty heavy stuff.'

Descendant of Galileo disproving the theory that computers double in speed every twelve months.

If Sir Issac Newton and William Tell were brothers, gravity would never have been discovered.

Galileo's Attempt to discover is heavier dog falls faster than lighter dog.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

'How did my Chinese ancestors keep from falling off the earth before Mr Newton invented gravity?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Friends often dropped by and subjected Sir Isaac to a little good-natured ridicule.

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!