Gallop Guru Gifts

Learner Riders

Ponies for Sale

'We've sussed out why you keep losing by a short half head.'

'You must be the new guy! welcome to riding club buddy!'

'Gloria can you help me look for my shoe? I think i threw one whilst I was charging about just now...'

'But what is the universe for?'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"She got a brand new whip for her birthday."

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

Deregulated Baseball

Cleaning the Horse

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

Boxing

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

Expanding Sun engulfs Planets

"Are you sure they'll be able to read English?"