Gate Agent Gifts

"First, though, we'll be boarding all our bald business travellers who've been asking a ton of interesting questions for the past forty-five minutes."

"We are now inviting passengers who have liked and shared our posts to preboard this flight."

"I've never been delayed before. Do I just wait here?"

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

UK border controls relaxed.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

'The roof needs icing.'

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

Meet Santa's entourage

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Snow White and her Seven people.

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'Is the fire included?'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'