Ticketing Agent Gifts

"Our fare structure is completely transparent, as anyone with a degree in higher mathematics can see."

"I knew this was coming when they introduced computer-generated ticket sales."

"Your tickets are only valid between 9:37 and 09:45 on an alternate Tuesday in a month with an 'R' in it. . . and only on the less-frequent train company. . ."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

Need tickets.

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"Okay, forget the cookies. How about tickets? I've got a couple of good seats for sale to the Rangers' game."

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"

Meter Maid

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

Solar Storm Expected!

'Oh my God, they took my World Cup tickets!!!'

'After you finish validating me,could you validate my parking receipt,doctor?'

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

"I've got an idea for my comeback."