Ticketing Agent Pillows

"Our fare structure is completely transparent, as anyone with a degree in higher mathematics can see."

"I knew this was coming when they introduced computer-generated ticket sales."

"Your tickets are only valid between 9:37 and 09:45 on an alternate Tuesday in a month with an 'R' in it. . . and only on the less-frequent train company. . ."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

Need tickets.

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"Okay, forget the cookies. How about tickets? I've got a couple of good seats for sale to the Rangers' game."

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

Solar Storm Expected!

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"

Meter Maid

'After you finish validating me,could you validate my parking receipt,doctor?'

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

'I wonder what that knocking noise is.'

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.