Ticket Officer Pillows

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

Rather 'Cute.

Senior Prelate's Rail-Card

'This is my finest hour!'

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

Need tickets.

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

Solar Storm Expected!

'Oh my God, they took my World Cup tickets!!!'

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.

'I wonder what that knocking noise is.'