Ticket Inspector Pillows

"Whoever he is, he has season tickets."

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

Anti-Fraud Drive.

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

People with and without tickets on a train

Network SouthEast - "Sorry?.. you mean I pay you?"

"You can bring in the rest of the fare tomorrow."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

IRS Audit Section

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Tax Collector

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

Lightening the load at the Weigh Station.

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'