Ticket Inspector Gifts

"Whoever he is, he has season tickets."

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

Anti-Fraud Drive.

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

People with and without tickets on a train

Network SouthEast - "Sorry?.. you mean I pay you?"

"You can bring in the rest of the fare tomorrow."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Are you ready for your FISCAL examination?'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

IRS Audit Section

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Tax Collector

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Lightening the load at the Weigh Station.

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'