Tax Inspector Gifts

'Like the sign says...It's all THEIRS.'

"No it doesn't stand for Vodka and Tonic."

'Take my advice, stop thinking of it as your money.'

'When I die, please cremate me and send my ashes to the tax office. . .Write on the envelope, 'Now, you have everything.''

To err is human and subject to penalty

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

'Your repeated questioning as to whether I've been a 'good boy' has no relevance Mr Claus. I still need to see your accounts!'

'The only thing that is certain in life is death and taxes!'

'It's death and taxes to see you - taxes wants to come in first.'

Inland Revenue VAT - "Mr Batson, the consequences are here."

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

'I'm sorry, but to lower your taxes you're going to have to make more money.'

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

Diagram showing: now/later, taxes/death, rock/hard place

'The IRS is here to bite the hand that feeds it.'

'I haven't found anything wrong with your books yet, but it's OK for you to go ahead and worry a bit longer.'

'You can come in now - the auditors have gone.'

I.R.S. in god we trust - all others we audit

"First of all I'd like to congratulate you on your cunning and ingenuity."

I.R.S. - Attention Investors! Remember to 'Buy low, sell high' so we can collect capital gains tax!

'Survived the audit'

"Are your taxes based on usable living space or actual square footage?"

"Oh boy, am I never glad to see you."

'Incredible deductions, Mr. Holmes.'

"Which set of books do you want?"

Beware Tax Rebate Scammers...

"That's the last time we do our own taxes!"

"You're a hard man to trace, Mr Fenton."

"There's no getting away from you guys."

'I'm having trouble supporting a wife and a government on the same salary.'

'What do you mean - 'conscientious objector'?'

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

Yes, this is your VAT inspector.

'You can claim your dependents on yout tax returns, but not your codependents.'

'You owe income tax, social security tax, and of course, graduated tax.'