Financial Inspector Gifts

"Auditor's here."

"Put the teeth away. I'm the Audit Fairy."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Are you ready for your FISCAL examination?'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

IRS Audit Section

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

Tax Collector

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Please help me! Every payday, I get robbed some gangsters called 'Fiscal Authority'!

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'