Financial Inspector Gifts

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

IRS Audit Section

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

Tax Collector

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'Please help me! Every payday, I get robbed some gangsters called 'Fiscal Authority'!

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

I.R.S.: 'All's fair in love & taxes'.