Fraud Inspector Gifts

"This is an imaginative expenses claim. I wish we could use those skills of yours in the business."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

Fake Counterfeit Money

"Forget the bloody glove for a moment; ignore all the arguments about the DNA evidence and try to remember that this case, after all, is about securities violations."

"The transformation is pretty bad, but the worst part is filling out the paperwork for the adverse events."

"Of course he's smiling, he spent all the company profits before he died."

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

"He's falsified data, he's falsified results...and now he says he loves me."

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

Fraud Squad

'Since you stole my identity I thought I'd bring you the rest of the package.'

'To prevent fraud, we like to verify whiplash injury claims!'

Identity theft' is a big risk these days... criminals assuming your persona to commit fraud...' '...so I got a quote for 'identity theft insurance' last week... it was a lot cheaper than I'd anticipated.' 'Apparently my personality is only a 'Group 3'.'

Three Little Pigs Insurance Scam.

Leave one of your names with my secretary.

"We already have a state of the art security system. Why do we need a house detective?"

'Are you aware of the penalty for insurance fraud?'

'So you say the cash box was stolen.'

Frivolous Fraud Squad

"I'll need to see some ID before you can settle this account..."