Greed Inspector Gifts

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Secretive Weigh In.

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"No coal here, either - but you never know until you look."

Greed.

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"

'Economic Growth' Elephant balancing on top of the world in a circus ring. Accompanied by a 'fat cat' ring master.

"I make money, therefore I am."

'Just be patient. Greed always makes a come back.'

"Ted's been down in the dumps since they started giving greed a bad name."

Fake Counterfeit Money

We Sell Chinese Stocks - Management is not responsible of you feel greedy again in an hour.

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

Investments: Getting In Touch With Your Inner Greed

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

'One more thing - find out if the new Securities and Exchange Commission head grants group amnesty.'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

Stocks dropped sharply on the rumor the government will appoint a greed czar.

'Walter, I warned you about all that angel hair pasta and pie in the sky.'

Identity theft' is a big risk these days... criminals assuming your persona to commit fraud...' '...so I got a quote for 'identity theft insurance' last week... it was a lot cheaper than I'd anticipated.' 'Apparently my personality is only a 'Group 3'.'

Three Little Pigs Insurance Scam.

'I've noticed that it's only since I started laying golden eggs that everybody wants to be my friend...'

Sellers and Inspectors in Cuba

'Bond yields rise, bond prices drop...stock prices rise, gold prices drop..it's all part of the great cycle of greed.'