Identity Fraud Investigator Gifts

'Since you stole my identity I thought I'd bring you the rest of the package.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Christopher Isherwood

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

Spying Smart TV

Fake Counterfeit Money

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

"Forget the bloody glove for a moment; ignore all the arguments about the DNA evidence and try to remember that this case, after all, is about securities violations."

"Of course he's smiling, he spent all the company profits before he died."

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

'Just a minute while I pull up your file.'

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

'To prevent fraud, we like to verify whiplash injury claims!'

Identity theft' is a big risk these days... criminals assuming your persona to commit fraud...' '...so I got a quote for 'identity theft insurance' last week... it was a lot cheaper than I'd anticipated.' 'Apparently my personality is only a 'Group 3'.'

'Who am I?'

Leave one of your names with my secretary.

Three Little Pigs Insurance Scam.