Identity Fraud Investigator Pillows

'Since you stole my identity I thought I'd bring you the rest of the package.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

Fake Counterfeit Money

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

"Forget the bloody glove for a moment; ignore all the arguments about the DNA evidence and try to remember that this case, after all, is about securities violations."

"Of course he's smiling, he spent all the company profits before he died."

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

'To prevent fraud, we like to verify whiplash injury claims!'

Three Little Pigs Insurance Scam.

Identity theft' is a big risk these days... criminals assuming your persona to commit fraud...' '...so I got a quote for 'identity theft insurance' last week... it was a lot cheaper than I'd anticipated.' 'Apparently my personality is only a 'Group 3'.'

Leave one of your names with my secretary.

'Who am I?'

"Actually those missing four yeas I was working here under a different name."