Identity Detective Pillows

"Which version of yourself was the one who sabotaged the relationship?"

"I don't care if it's not you. That's the Social Security number you've been using."

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'Not just your identity. I also stole your vibe.'

"Here lies Barry and his several social media identities."

"You look a lot like one of us," this guy said. "Are you a Roscoe?"

"Everything looks OK, but I still need a DNA sample just to be sure it's you."

'You fool! -- This man is obviously an impostor!'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"All I know is that some girl named Carolina likes me."

Chugger Khan

"Sorry, Dr. Jekyll - you look nothing like your passport photograph. . ."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

Christopher Isherwood

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"I'm tired of being openly gay.I'm seriously considering going back in to the closet."

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

Guys looks in the mirror and sees himself as a prisoner.

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

Columbus discovers ... his feminine side.