Fraud Investigator Pillows

'That's odd, that site verified my age by having me type in all my credit card information.'

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

'Waaiiiit a minute here... how do I know you're the real fraud department and not just posing as one?'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

'The bloke from the insurance is here.'

Frivolous Fraud Squad

"I'll need to see some ID before you can settle this account..."

'So you say the cash box was stolen.'

Three Little Pigs Insurance Scam.

Identity theft' is a big risk these days... criminals assuming your persona to commit fraud...' '...so I got a quote for 'identity theft insurance' last week... it was a lot cheaper than I'd anticipated.' 'Apparently my personality is only a 'Group 3'.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

The origins of the Email Money Scam...

'You're right, Mr.Smith, your identity has been stolen...'

'I heard that Ted's garage caught on fire. But only roof was burned.'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

'These are your chimpanzees?'

"We'll do everything we can. In the meantime, would you like a new identity to replace your stolen one."

"I'm not really a policeman."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"The Three Billy Goats Gruff and Fred M. Smith, Chief Fraud Investigator, Department of Transportation, Roads and Bridges... THAT'S who's crossing this bridge."

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"

"If you don't want to kiss me. I can still turn into a prince. I just need your debit card number and PIN. . ."

"Whoa! This is my stolen identity!"

"Is this some kind of scam?"

'Ex Fraud Squad!'

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

"Before we start I just need to jot down your bank and credit card details."

Fraud Squad "Morning Gorgeous!"

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

'Will these be linited edition prints?'

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

'We take concerns about billions of pounds of NHS fraud very seriously. In fact I've asked Nurse Miggins to sort it out as soon as she gets back from lunch!'

Ernie's pest control.