Financial Fraud Detective Pillows

"Forget the bloody glove for a moment; ignore all the arguments about the DNA evidence and try to remember that this case, after all, is about securities violations."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Crisis'

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

IRS Audit Section

Eurobonds Explained.

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

Dark money donor

"I asked my friends over to see how much the adults are leaving us to pay off!"

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

"Some of it is soft and some of it is hard, but the main thing is that all of it is money."

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

'When we come back we'll talk to a man who made a fortune on Wall Street and almost got away with it.'

Financial Corruption

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."