Financial Systems Detective Pillows

Screwed Again By New Credit Card Rules.

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Crisis'

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

IRS Audit Section

'If nobody has any money, where did it all go?'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

Eurobonds Explained.

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"I asked my friends over to see how much the adults are leaving us to pay off!"

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

Euro Bomb

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

"Well, we know it's WAY down there, but it may be beyond the range of our equipment."

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'When we come back we'll talk to a man who made a fortune on Wall Street and almost got away with it.'