Financial Systems Detective Gifts

Screwed Again By New Credit Card Rules.

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

'Crisis'

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

Eurobonds Explained.

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

'If nobody has any money, where did it all go?'

IRS Audit Section

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

Euro Bomb

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.

"I asked my friends over to see how much the adults are leaving us to pay off!"

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

"Well, we know it's WAY down there, but it may be beyond the range of our equipment."

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."